As discussed before, our normal and first reaction to a situation that upsets us, is to think emotionally, such as - why me! Not again! I can’t believe this!
We sometimes get paranoid or reflect inwardly thinking this is our fault, if only I hadn’t done………….
We sometimes become critical of others, remembering other things that may have happened.
Sometimes it is just blind rage!!
If we have worked together already, you will also know that this reaction has been created because one of your core values had been crossed or you are being forced due to an internal personality driver to cross a core value.
If we are talking about conflict resolution or anger management, we need to take a stepped approach.
1. Recognise the issue and NOT react.
2. Possibly take time out to do Logosynthesis, mindfulness and breathing exercises.
3. Look at solution focused questions - shift from thinking ‘me’ to thinking resolution.
Put yourself in their shoes – why has this happened/motive? Do your very best to understand with logic. Don’t second guess maybe ask if necessary?
What is the impact?
Who can take responsibility to make a change?
What is the suitable action / who should take that action?
Take the action, or agree the action suggested by others.
Inspect what you expect.